What's been going on with me

Picture credit: Amir Gurung

These days I’m probably way too happy and distracted to sit down and write. This semester’s been awesome! I’m not in drama anymore so I totally get to rush back to room right after classes and chill and not worry about rehearsals and learning lines. Amir is an amazing friend, and things in general have started to fall back into place. I’ve finally fixed my trust issue. Or so I like to believe. I don’t trust people as easily as I used to, which is so cool because I still get fed shits. But the good thing is I don’t shove them down my throat no more.

I’ve changed my favorite playlist, finally. *long sigh* Now that I think back, it feels like I’d been stuck with Taylor Swift for a really long time. I could relate to all her songs and that was probably why I liked them so much. (“You said forever and always, you didn’t mean it, baby.” Ohmygod I know right!) But now that I’m not into relationship kinda stuff anymore, I don’t listen to her as often. My new favorite singer is Troye Sivan (I also like Amir’s favorite band Years and Years) who is this really adorable Australian singer. He’s gay. *Scream!* My heart’s melting. It should not, actually, because I have a HUGE crush on him and I should really be heartbroken. But then I find pretty gay guys so beautiful. I mean, that’s no secret.

Oh talking about gay, last time on the second day of college, Amir and I tagged along with Paul to the ice-breaking session held for the foreign students.They made us introduce ourselves and when my turn came, I freaking made an ass outta myself. So I went in the front and gosh there were more people than I expected. I sort of went blank in the head. I said, “Hi,” and laughed. Obviously. *face palm* “My name is Kezang Choden.” Then I couldn’t (like, literally) think of anything else to say. Now that I think back, I should have simply smiled and come back and sat down. But I blurted out, “I can’t think of anything to say so I’m going to say something Paul told me not to say. I’m into yaoi.” Paul was like, “What? Oh my god!” and turned pink. That was when I realized I should not have admitted I was into Gay Japanese Manga, which by the way involves some pretty badass sex scenes. Thankfully no one knew what yaoi was and all I got was blank faces staring out at me. So I quickly said that I was joking and mumbled some muddled up words that said I study Sociology and Political Science. By the time I got back to my seat beside Amir, I was blushing.

Then a guy made us dance to the stupidest (no offence) song I’d ever heard. It went something like, “Peel, banana, peel peel banana. Chop, banana, chop chop banana. Eat, banana, eat eat banana…” The entire time, I was like, “Can I please say apple?” Even the whispering-game that we played involved a sentence that went, “I had banana for breakfast today.” I don’t know if I was the only perv in the hall because everyone else seemed just fine.

I met up with my ex boyfriend last night which was undoubtedly MAD. But he sounded so sad it broke my heart. And it’s not like I’m still into him. I just care about him in a weird way. But I guess I ended up talking about Amir for most of the time. *double face palm*

Well, it’s difficult not to. Amir’s amazing. I’ve always wanted to have a guy best friend and wondered what it’d be like to have one. He’s sitting right beside me (we’re in the library) doing his assignment and he’s probably going to murder me if he sees this but I’m going to write it anyway. Amir is the kind of guy who unlike a lot of other guys, doesn’t try too hard at being cool and popular. He’s just… him. He’s like the realest guy I’ve ever come across. No joke. He’s weird and different in his own way and that totally makes two of us. (Once he went, “Pretty girls are either taken or lesbian. So I kiddingly pointed at myself and went, “Well I’m single.” He dropped his eyelids and went, “You’re crazy. Crazy people don’t count.”) He’s beautiful, and the coolest thing is he doesn’t put an effort to be. We can talk with each other about ANYTHING and still be fine with it. People probably think we’re dating but what we have is like, beyond couple love.

That’s about all the updates I have for now. Thanks for reading!

I haven’t posted any short fictions lately but I’m doing a gay (obviously) short story and it should be uploaded in a few days.




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